In a group I belong to, Developing the Leader within You, one of the posts I'm following is what leadership quality has made a big difference in your life. I'll include some of the comments from that blog below my additional comments. Notice how the initiator of the post, Trudy Metzer, listens to and comments about other's comments. This skill to listen, show empathy, show humility and caring are all ingredients of leadership. I would add a few comments. I think the leader engages the heart through his/her vision only when the message or vision has purpose that resonates with the followers. The message is as important as the leader. I also think the leader is someone who models the way, establishes and measure progress and celebrates victories and successes sharing the glory with the followers:
So here is what others commented on leadership:
Jonathan McDowell:
GREAT question. This answer will probably be different for everyone, with variations along the same lines for many. But with everyone having a different set of experiences and different personalities.
I'm still developing, but a few that I have purposely worked on, and have grown in are the following:
Active Listening: I used to never really ask questions to the person I was conversing with. After I answered their questions I was done. I read a book by Hugh Hewitt. In it he discusses following the "Five Questions Rule" in which he advises the reader to ask at least five questions in every conversation. The questions should come from the speaker's content. Once I started doing this I realized that people WANT to tell their story, and when they do they think YOU really like them. When they think YOU really like them (which you normally will because of the connection) they really like you. At that point, you're influence in their life exponentially grows.
Teachability: I don't know what I don't know. But I want to know. So I decided to take criticism as gently and non-personally as I can. There is ALWAYS someone that knows more than I do. Most the time, there are many people that know more than me. Realizing that released me to begin listening to experts and those with experience without filtering them through a "that's not right" perspective. There are times when skepticism is needed, but I was using it too much. Once I started really listening to others and I decided to LEARN what they had to offer, I became more effective with those around me. (1) I had more ideas that could help in more situations, and (2) I had more valuable information that people wanted to hear.
Frank Feather wrote:
Yes, we need all the basic principles of leadership such as ethics and integrity, but true leaders have the ability to "see" and articulate a future vision, "map" how to go there, and then lead the way.
Without vision, there is no leadership. They are just chair-holders, going through the motions -- pretend leaders -- going nowhere, because they have no clue where they are heading.
Everything else follows.
For me, this was easy to learn, when I realized that only the future is manageable. You cannot manage the past (it is over), nor the present (it is but a fleeting nano-second). Therefore every decision needs to be made within a future-relevant context. Otherwise, you are spinning wheels.
Jonathan responds to Danny's comment:
Danny brings up a good point. Relationship is the glue that holds organizations together (Read Maxwell's discussion on "Why does understanding people make the difference?"). Without making a connection with those around you (both above and below) the leader is nothing but a sitting duck. Idea guys can't get anywhere without others to aid them in the implementation.
And is also why adding value to others is so important. Adding value to others starts to solidify the relationship. I'm always available to people that consistently add value to me.
The host of the blog, Trudy Metzer opines:
Thank you for sharing all those wonderful thoughts, challenges and inspirations. I intended to post mine and then was away all day so here goes...
My biggest struggle, which I noticed is Rob's strength, was the confidence issue. And that spilled into so many other areas! I'm super outgoing and sensitive, so people usually like me but for some reason I always feared it wouldn't last so I held back 'the real me'. For many years I tried to play it safe and be what people wanted and that was very debilitating because so much energy went to the wrong place! It also played into my listening abilities because I was constantly preparing my next line or response in a way that would please the listener. It's not possible to plan a response and listen well at the same time. (Add ADHD to that and... well, no need to explain!)
I have had to learn to love myself the way God made me, believe that His purposes for me are wonderful and draw confidence from that awareness. It has changed my life! I have learned to be an active listener, caring listener. I'm comfortable with moments of silence because I don't have a response or an answer ready and because of this have developed countless new relationships and strengthened the long-standing ones. To my amazement it made me a better, more influential leader. Contrary to what I had always believed, people don't want 'perfect' answers, they want to be cared about at a heart level.
Allowing other people to speak into my life was also key in this process. It takes humility to be teachable and admit weakness or a need for help. That's what I love about these discussions--we learn so much from each other!
Richard, honesty, character and integrity, not pretense is the key. Interestingly enough, there was a time when the walk and talk impressed me if presented with flawless perfection. Now, the humility to admit imperfection both in the walk and talk is what will draw me in and keep me dedicated to a person/cause.
(In response to Denise's comment), that is a great asset! I have managed mid-sized events and loved it! In the process of finding people to work with me, I have learned that it is a relatively unique ability and even more rare to find someone who is excellent at it *and* loves it. I've been connecting with pastors in your area in the last few weeks to see about doing a conference for women... I may need to track you down to see if you'd like to manage the event details.
Mark: I think most of us rise and fall in the struggle of trusting, giving grace and living selflessly. Seems to me that, while we get better at it with time, our humanity always resurfaces. At the end of the day that is a good thing because it is not likely something new, just something hidden brought to light so that we can grow to the next level!
Richard: It takes great character and humility to take ownership and bring healing to relationships by offering sincere apologies rather than excuses!
Have you had your own leadership experience and if so share it with others:
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