Empathy and other emotional intelligence concerns

The most important emotional intelligence skill is the ability to empathize with others.  People who are adept at this skill can generally tell a person's emotional state or feelings by their body language (facial or other cues) without even having to listen to the words.  These skills are honed at infancy when mothers or caregivers respond to the sounds and reactions of their babies/infants.  It's not just mimicking their actions but responding to them in understanding.  When the child is happy/sad, the Mother responds in kind to the child to indicate recognition and reinforcement of the emotion.  As this communication evolves, it is called attunement which is the foundation of caring for others and the ability to form and build relationships.  Misattunement and the absence of empathy and emotion yeilds severe misbahaviors for the person and society.

Synchrony occurs when the person's moods, emotions and body language are picked up by others.  The more dominant emotion seems to rub off on others.  We become more depressed when surrounded by depressed people.  On the flip side, when someone plays to our emotions for good, we feel better about ourselves and that person. The mark of a powerful leader is one who can use language (verbal or non verbal) and stories to get their followers excited about a cause or plan of action.  People who are poor at sending and receiving emotions are less successful in their life's activities.  Interpersonal intelligence can be categorized into 4 areas:

1.  Organizing groups:  coordinating efforts of a network of people - what leaders do
2.  Negotiating solutions:  this includes problem solving, conflict resolution, mediation/arbitration or peace makers
3.  Personal connections: The ability to empathize and make positive connections responding to people's feelings and concerns.  This is critical for team players, team building, and relationship building
4.  Social analysis: ability to detect insights about others' feelings, motives and concerns which is important for counseling or writing novels or screenplays.

Taken together, these skills are the necessary ingredients for charm, solcial success, even charisma.  Those adept in social intelligence can connect with people quite smoothly and are astute in reading their reactions and feelings, lead and organize and handle disputes effectively.  These are the type of peoplle others like to be with because they are emotionally nourishing, they make others feel good, and a pleasure to know.